When you approach your mate with an issue or problem, you are expressing a desire to be understood. This isn’t just a convenience or a nicety—it is above all, an attempt to connect. If your partner turns away from you when you’re trying to reach out, it elicits a very basic response: the failure of one human to get what they desire from another triggers rejection.
Feeling rejected can trigger an avalanche of emotions. Initially it may induce a sense of panic ("Oh my god! There’s no one to turn to!") Later, it can leave persistent feelings of abandonment, depression or despair. The experience of rejection can ultimately lead to anger at the person who "made you" feel that way. And when it’s your spouse who’s let you down, and it’s happened more than once, that anger can stir up a firestorm of resentment and even hate.
But before you shred your marriage certificate and move back in with your parents, there are some things you should know. Here are 4 tips to help you reconnect.
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